The importance of self care

I have been pretty quiet here lately, mostly due to the semester taking a hunk out of me, but also from lack of topics. I feel despite practicing for a while now, I don’t know what to say, or feel it’s already been said many many times already. However, today in a rare moment of taking care of my self, I got the impression maybe the Netjer wanted me to post about this today, and even if it wasn’t them I figured it wouldn’t Hurt. 

Yesterday, was not a super great start to 2017 already. I felt very alone, and a little embarrassed of myself. My depression and anxiety had a firm hold on me and I began to wonder a little about “was it really worth it?” Life, religion, happiness, Etc it wasn’t very pretty. While I continued my day trying to have fun and break out of the funk, it just felt a little hollow. 

When I woke up this morning I realized my husband had let me sleep in (despite him thinking I had to work today, though they did cancel my shift). The extra sleep had felt nice and I woke up still a little groggy from it. Sitting there I was struck with the idea to get in the shower, and decided it wasn’t a bad idea, i hadn’t in a few days, again due to the depression. 

What I had intended to be a quick shower turned into a mini spa like event. I showered with a new and good smelling body wash, shaved and used a luxurious lotion my mom gave me for Christmas, and did all the “normal” hygeine things like wash my face, and hair, brush my hair instead of putting fit in a bun etc, that I sometimes just don’t have the…proper mindset to do (again the what does it matter problem). However today it just seemed like I do it everyday it came very easy and I enjoyed it. For once in what seemed like months (and probably was) I was taking time to pamper myself and make sure I was taken care of. I even remembered to take my vitamins. Which may sound silly but it was a small victory for me. 

In the end it reminded me that when I am busy and it doesn’t seem like it will make a difference it will. I feel so much better today. Happier and more accomplished. Does this mean I will get better at remembering? No it means I will try better, and I thank the Netjer for the reminder, that sometimes small victories can make a day better. 

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“Knowing” They’re There

Em Hotep,

The strangest thing I am coming to find, as time goes on since my RPD,  is when I feel them around has changed…drastically. Before I would feel them around more during Senut, ritual, offerings etc. the most. Well…to be fair that was only when I felt them, or rather when I noticed. Maybe I missed a lot too, it’s entirley possible. This led to the beleif and obsession that for me, that must be what I had to do, and was the “only” way for me to do it. Which did not work very well, and led to me being very guilty and stressed…a lot. 

Now post RPD is the strangest thing for me. One of my New Years goals was to do Senut at least 1 week, if not 4 times (before school and watch the sunrise something I had enjoyed before school started). Now while that is still a goal, it is kind of a hard one as I transition back to school. However, even before school started I noticed that whether I feel them there or not…Some part of me “knows” in a way I never had before. Even in some of my darkest hours theirs a part of me that “knows” even when I have doubts and wonder (which is healthy to do from time to time). I still have this “knowing” that is so strange to me now. 

Religion has somehow without me noticing become a part of my life. Rather then being something new its,just an everyday fact.  It permeates my life in a way I never thought it would.  I used to read about how people got to a point in their life where it’s part of the and used to think that was impossible for me yet her I am….Its nice. 

Senebty 

Udjariyinepu 

Learning to go with the flow

Em Hotep!

One of my goals for the new year was to perform Senut more often than just once a month or once every other month. The way I was able to start accomplishing this was in large due to my Husband. While he doesn’t really understand my beleifs all of my celebrations, Especially Wep Ronpet were due to him. Normally I get up for work/College about 540-6 AM. It usually gives me time to make coffee and potty my dog, then after work I usually walk him. Well with the way this summer has been its been too hot for both of us to walk midday, so I needed an alternative, and I needed to make time for Senut.

My husband however, has always been an early riser, having grown up on a farm. For his current job he gets up at 3-330 Am, and he’s always encouraging me to get up with him so we can visit in the morning. For a while I did and then when he left I would go back to sleep. One day it hit me, if I stayed up I could walk my dog in the morning, get cleaned up, and have the time and privacy to do Senut. 

So, a few days leading up to the New Year I was able to get up, and have time for Senut. It was very nice for a change, and then shortly after Senut I was able to watch the sunrise out the window of our spare bedroom turned office. This continued forming a lovely routine that left me in a better mood the rest of the day. Before I was always rushing and trying to find a time later in the day only to run out of time. It also left me oddly optimistic to be able to watch the sunrise over the mountain shortly after spending time with the Netjeru. 

All was well, until this Sunday when we picked up a puppy for my father in-law. We were going to watch him until Thursday when me and my sister went down to visit him and out parents. He threw a wrench in the routine of everyone in the apartment. Despite my dog being 2 1/2, I had forgotten how disruptive a puppy can truly be. 

At first it didn’t really bother me, I missed my sleep more than anything, but as time went by, I started to feel discouraged. Here I was doing so well, and it was doing me so good, and now…Nothing. A bunch of what ifs ran through my mind..What if I never got back to it and fell out of Senut all together?. It was starting to become something more harmful then good for me then I remember something I said to my mom about watching the sunrise. 

“It’s so great, watching a new day dawn, everything seems possible like you’ve been given a second chance.”

There will always be another day to start again. Just because I couldn’t due to the puppy doesn’t mean he will always be here. He will be at his permanent home tomorrow and I have a temporary senut shrine set up if I so choose while down there, and then when I get home, I can start my routine again. Just cause it wasn’t possible doesn’t mean it always will be. I need to learn not to be so hard on myself and to go with the flow of life.

Senebty,

Udjariyinepu

Wep Ronpet 2k16!

Em Hotep!


Wow it was the first year I have been able to celebrate all the Epagomenal Days, and Wep Ronpet! 2 years ago I just did the Epagomenal Days, but not in my opinion very well, it was the first time doing it and I didn’t know what to expect. this year I was thankfully part of the KO community and had other people’s experiences to draw from. 

This year I got up early so I was guaranteed going to be able to do what I wanted uninterrupted. To start the day I got up with my Husband and sent him off to work, then I walked my dog , Ruger, for about a half hour, then came back and showered and Cleansed myself spiritually. After that I did a small Execration like ritual to rid myself of things in the coming year. 

After I did Senut, the first one of the new year :). I adjusted a prayer I try to do daily (Though right now it seems to be a Senut Prayer), to embody certain aspects of my Father and beloveds in my life.Kind of like things I could learn from them and incorporate into my life. I adjusted the wording to be more fitting for a year than just daily. 

I also made offerings to my line up of cool water, Coffee (Djehuty) and specific candles for each of them.

Dua Netjeru!

Senebty,

Udjariyinepu 

Epagomenal Day Five: Nebt-het 

Em Hotepo!

Today started out very well for me, I wasn’t running late and I got my coffee today :). I was also able to find a very fitting shirt for Nebthets day


I was pretty stoked :). For her birthday today I lit a candle, offered her some cool water and said a small prayer. Before I blew out the candle I wrote her a small thank you letter. Latter on today if I get the chance I want to do a little birthday Heka, but we shall see. I also spent some time cleaning and warding my apartment. Doing death work can attract some not so savory types. 

Senebty

Udjari 

Epigomenal Day Four: Aset 

Em Hotep!

Today did not start off super great. I woke up like usual with the Hubby at 3 Am, went back to bed and had some of the weirdest dreams I have had in a while. While I can’t remember exactly what they were about I do remember that I was pretty weirded out by them. Then I woke up kinda late, and was almost late to work and forgot to brew me coffe. Not looking super optimistic. 

However, after work things started to look up. The beans I had cooking in the crock pot were coming a long very well, and I was able to pay rent on time, and when I went to the PO box my Yinepu statue had come today, so I was in a lot higher spirits when it came time to celebrate Aset’s birthday then I originally thought I was going to be. 

For her birthday I did a prayer, after which I wrote her a letter. I then offered a candle and some cool water, as I am not close to her and didn’t know what else might be appropriate. 

When I sat down to type this up I realized I had written a letter to almost everyone and after tomorrow I would have except Set and Heru-wer, While I know it’s a little late I have decided to write them belated birthday letters, rather then have them be left out, since I had written one to Djehuty on leap day also. Other than that I am super excited for Wep Ronpet and celebrating the new year with my Father and a brand new statue :).

Senebty 

Udjari 

Epigomenal Day Three: Set

Em Hotep!

For Set’s day I was able to get back into color coordinating with a red shirt.  I said a little prayer to him while me and the Hubby went for  a drive up in the mountains.  I thought of him often throughout the day, I do miss working with him quite a bit from time to time, and his birthday was no exception. While I have reached a place where I understand that he’s not what I need I did spend a lot of time offering to him. 

Later on he got a few beers, and some spicy snack mix, as I thought he might enjoy it and a cookie or two. Other than it was a remarkably peaceful day. 

Senebty 

Udjari

Epigomenal Day Two: Heru-wer 

Yesterday did not go anywhere near what I planned for Heru-wer’s birthday. I had planned to give offerings and then write a letter, but it only sorta happened. 

My husband reminds me a lot of when I used to work with Set. He is an unstoppable force, whose energy it’s easy to get caught up in, in the best way. So for his Birthday Heru-Wer got beer while the Hubby and I played Zombies on Call of Duty. Though I guess it evens out since 2 years ago when I last celebrated Heru-Wer’s was the best celebrated during operation get Heru drunk on tumblr including the picture I drew of him haha. Hopefully the others will go a little better :). 

Epagomenal Day One: Wesir 

Em Hotep!

Yesterday, I had a lot of plans for today, the whole set of Epagomenal Day’s in fact. However this morning had me waking up to an almost migraine and and upset stomach that had me calling into work today. About halfway through what would have been my shift I was laying in bed fiddling and trying to get everything under control when I had the sudden thought that “oh dear if I don’t start feeling better I won’t be able to make my Birthday celebration offerings”. Shortly after that thought my stomach stopped giving me fits and my headache became more manageable. Coincidence or sneaky Netjeru determined to get his Birthday offering? I’ll let you decide haha.

Either way shortly after I finally dragged myself out of bed to shower, and when I got out I went to look for a green shirt to color coordinate for Wesir’s day, and the only green piece of clothing I had was my “Get a life” Mario shirt…suffice to say I was in a fit of giggles for a little while, here’s looking at you Wesir ;). 

Now it’s shortly after noon, and I am contemplating on the offerings I am going to give, as I don’t have much on hand right now and can’t go to the store. I’m think an orange, and maybe a beer or water, and an incense  is all my stomach can handle right now. I hope he understands. Later if I am able to swing it I want to do some birthday Heka, and maybe write a letter, we shall see how the rest of the day goes, see you again tomorrow for the next Eagomenal Day :).

senebty 

Udjari 

Expectations and Religion 

As I work on shadow work, I found a program called MOODgym. In it, it talks about how what you think is what you feel. Now that got me thinking a lot about how my expectations of situations have influenced how I feel about the outcome etc. Now how does this relate to my religion/spirituality you may be wondering. Well in more ways than I originally thought. 

First I will go the obvious route and talk about my RPD. Back when I first joined the House, the Netjer I worked with were a bit different then who I was divined. Does that mean I can’t and don’t still offer to them? No, I do but my mindset was not suited for it yet. At the time I worked with Set, and Hethert and Djehuty, and tried Heru-wer , Wesir and Bast for a time. However, through it all I was convinced I would be divined daughter of Set, and honestly if I had, had my RPD done at the time and got Yinepu I would have been confused and disappointed. I may have even left the house. I did not have the open mindedness I needed to have the RPD done. 

As time went by I eventually slowed down in my workings with Set, and I settled into working regularly (or semi regularly anyway) with Wepwawet, Djehuty, Sekhmet and Hethert. This went on for about a year before I got my RPD done, and Honestly I feel that it was Yinepu I was working with the whole time anyway, content to be called Wepwawet until I learned otherwise. Once I quit being bull headed and actually listen I found where I was supposed to be all along anyway, and it couldn’t feel more right. 

That brings me to my next pondering a on expectations, communication with the God’s or in my case the Netjeru. I have a partial “Godphone”, that I have developed and worked on over the years and one thing I have found is sometimes, no matter how hard I try what I want/expect to hear sometimes over rules the true message. Like in the above case, I was so dead set on one way I was missing all the signs I belonged elsewhere. 

As I work through MOODgym, and become more and more aware of how my Expectations actually effect my religion and my interactions with the Neteru the more I will try and do my best to not let it affect it so much. 

Senebty

Udjari