I have been pretty quiet here lately, mostly due to the semester taking a hunk out of me, but also from lack of topics. I feel despite practicing for a while now, I don’t know what to say, or feel it’s already been said many many times already. However, today in a rare moment of taking care of my self, I got the impression maybe the Netjer wanted me to post about this today, and even if it wasn’t them I figured it wouldn’t Hurt.
Yesterday, was not a super great start to 2017 already. I felt very alone, and a little embarrassed of myself. My depression and anxiety had a firm hold on me and I began to wonder a little about “was it really worth it?” Life, religion, happiness, Etc it wasn’t very pretty. While I continued my day trying to have fun and break out of the funk, it just felt a little hollow.
When I woke up this morning I realized my husband had let me sleep in (despite him thinking I had to work today, though they did cancel my shift). The extra sleep had felt nice and I woke up still a little groggy from it. Sitting there I was struck with the idea to get in the shower, and decided it wasn’t a bad idea, i hadn’t in a few days, again due to the depression.
What I had intended to be a quick shower turned into a mini spa like event. I showered with a new and good smelling body wash, shaved and used a luxurious lotion my mom gave me for Christmas, and did all the “normal” hygeine things like wash my face, and hair, brush my hair instead of putting fit in a bun etc, that I sometimes just don’t have the…proper mindset to do (again the what does it matter problem). However today it just seemed like I do it everyday it came very easy and I enjoyed it. For once in what seemed like months (and probably was) I was taking time to pamper myself and make sure I was taken care of. I even remembered to take my vitamins. Which may sound silly but it was a small victory for me.
In the end it reminded me that when I am busy and it doesn’t seem like it will make a difference it will. I feel so much better today. Happier and more accomplished. Does this mean I will get better at remembering? No it means I will try better, and I thank the Netjer for the reminder, that sometimes small victories can make a day better.